Need to de-stress? Here are simple ways to carve out some 'me-time'
Did you know that stress related anxiety is one of most common mental health conditions affecting women, according to official statistics?
In this ever changing world with home schooling, lockdowns, working from home, loss of jobs/community connection/freedoms/family time, the levels are likely to be higher than ever.
Stress is a physical condition and turns on a different part of our nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system. Basically you can think of this as your "fight or flight" response.
Your body does not know the difference between a tiger attack and being stuck in traffic when you are running late for something important. It all registers in the body as the same thing and the same chemical reactions occur. The adrenal glands fire off cortisol and all hell breaks loose!
There are many steps that you can take to help manage stress and anxiety levels, and one simple way is to schedule some 'me time.'
Probably sounds simple enough, right? Especially if you're in 'lockdown' with less activities and commitments...
Often busy mums will feel struggle with this, simply because they have a 'Supermum' complex. That is the voice that tells you that you have to do more all the time, that your worth is based on what you achieve, that success is a standard measured by what you tick off your to do list and how many balls you juggle.
She pushes you into the perfectionist trap, where you constantly hold yourself to an impossibly high standard but always feel like you fall short in one or more ways. So you strive harder, try harder, do more.
And you're left defeated, depleted and stressed and overwhelmed.
However, feeling stressed and the inability to just enjoy a little time-out can end up having some very real health and psychological effects.
It can affect your memory, your digestion, your blood sugar, your digestion, the way that you age, your adrenal health, your sex drive, and even your skin!
Carving out time for yourself has long been acknowledged as an important stress management technique. With a little practice and some dedication, making time for yourself can become as automatic as brushing your teeth or washing your hands.
Here are some techniques you can try today and continue throughout the week
Make the conscious decision that you deserve time to yourself
If you don’t believe it, it will be easy to continue giving away every moment to the demands around you. The biggest challenge that people face is feeling guilty for taking this time. STOP feeling guilty! This is necessary for your health and wellbeing, you are not being selfish by practicing self-maintenance.
Make an honest assessment of how you spend time each day
Write down everything you do and the time you spend during the course of one day. Think of it like budget planning, except for your time instead of your money. You can’t really know what you’re working with until you are honest about what you are doing. Do you check email or social media more than necessary? Are you constantly late or rushing because you don’t plan ahead?
Carve out some time for yourself each day
Once you’ve identified areas where you are spending unnecessary time, you can repurpose those intervals for ‘me time’. It may not be the same amount every day. Maybe you can only carve out 20 minutes on Mondays, but on Fridays you can find a whole hour. Aim for a minimum of 20 minutes per day. (A 10-minute walk around the block is all you need to boost endorphins and serotonin which makes you feel good. It can also ease anger, tension, fatigue and stress).
Make a plan for that free time
Ask yourself what would be most relaxing for you to do in 20 minutes, an hour or a day. That way you don’t try to do too much in a small amount of time, or waste a large amount of time thinking of what to do. Something I might do with this time is this belly breathing exercise:
Sit comfortably in your chair
Put one hand on your belly (just under your ribs) and keep the other hand on your chest
Breathe in deeply through your nose - You should feel your belly push out against your hand while your chest stays still.
Breathe out through your mouth, with your lips pursed as though you're about to whistle or blow out a candle.
You'll feel the hand on your belly drop until you've pushed all the air out
Then, repeat this exercise between 10 - 15 times.
Be firm with yourself and others
Look at your ‘me time’ as you would any other appointment and stick to it. Say no to requests that will infringe on it.
Because this frantic life we’re leading is full of choices. The job that sucks every ounce of energy is a job we applied for. The raft of activities our kids are enrolled in outside school are activities we signed up to. The committees, the sports coaching, the extra housework, the constant helping of our colleagues and friends to the exclusion of our own priorities—it’s all stuff we said YES to.
And that’s great, if it’s working.
But if it’s not, nobody’s going to fix things for us. Here's a printable reminder of all things I step back and think about when I've pushed myself too close to the edge of over-commitment.
Me time - yes, every day!
With a small amount of planning and persistence, you will find that it’s easier than you thought to find time for yourself. Use it to recharge, relax and give your mental health a boost.
I hope these ideas to nourish yourself, and feed your soul, are useful. Feel free to share this with anyone you think would also find it helpful.